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Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Motat trip

On Monday the year 4 and our teachers went to Motat on a old bus I was excited. 

Room 11/12 waited patiently while Kathrine our educator was giving us some rules. 

We went in a room with lots of intresting things like cameras cell phones they did not have smart phones those times. 

My favourite one was tram ride.

Exploring indoor was fun I was very interested in the earthquake cafe.

I feel like to live there it was amazing but we went there to learn




Criteria for an Effective Paragraph
Par 1
Par 2
Par 3
Par 4
Par 5
⚈ Start with a topic sentence.
yes
yes
yes
no
no
⚈ Have at least 2-3 connected sentences.
no
no
no
no
no
⚈ Have sentences that are effective that
  1. have varied beginnings
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
    b.  have juicy vocab e.g action/describing  words
no
no
no
no
no
    (c) grammatically correct
no
no
no
no
no
  (d) punctuated correctly.
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
(Think of 1 or 2 things that you need to to focus on next time, to make sure your paragraphs are effective.)
Next time I  need to write 2-3 sentences about each sentences.





1 comment:

  1. Well done for getting your Motat writing posted. I think you have chosen a good thing to focus on for your next piece of writing because if you have 2-3 sentences for each idea your writing will be much more interesting. Perhaps another focus could be adding more juicy vocab.
    I look forward to reading your next piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete